Have you ever wondered…
How could he disappear after he was so totally into me? Why hasn’t he texted? Why does he pull away every time we get close? Was it just about the sex? How could he not be interested in me? Why doesn’t he make a move? Will he ever commit? What the bleep is going on in this relationship? Is it him or is it me? Ah, men. Mystifying men.
And we’re supposed to be the mysterious ones! Truth is, men are at least as hard to figure out as women. Their behavior can be CONFUSING, FRUSTRATING and MADDENING. They tease us with clever poems, daily texts and calls, only to turn around in the blink of an eye and completely disappear or disappoint us. Who hasn’t fallen for that grand opening game, where they lure us with intoxicating conversations, funny dates, a perfect little heart necklace, delicious kisses and more?
Fortunately, I’ve logged many therapy hours listening to men as they’ve opened up and explored their deepest needs and fears. The good news is that they, like us, usually really do want true love, and down deep they realize that they’d be happier, more content and more sexually satisfied if they had a good relationship. The bad news is they are also scared, and they push real INTIMACY or COMMITMENT away. Men fear being overwhelmed and taken over in an all-consuming relationship void of any video games, sporting events or nights out with the guys. Believe it or not, they also fear rejection and abandonment. And all these fears play out in avariety of ways. Men play out unconscious and conscious RELATIONSHIP GAMES (which I call Deadly Dating Patterns) that create a maddening push-pull with your heart. That’s why dating and relationships can be so CONFUSING and frustrating.
In my just released relationship advice book, Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love, I devote alot of time to getting inside the minds of men and their most common Committment Issues. Some of them are much more ingrained and difficult for the guy to overcome than others. I rate the degree of difficulty of each pattern, based on my clinical experience, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most challenging. I have also divided the patterns into three groups: easier to overcome; moderately difficult; and most challenging (those I advise you to stay away from).
Now we have this question: He broke my heart and he still calls me? See what Dr. Diana has to say.
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