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Staying In Love Takes Two!

Here’s another wonderful blog from my dear friend Ashok of indiandatingtoday.com.
If you are seeking relationship advice because you feel something has changed, the “spark” has gone chances are you still love your partner.  The problem is most likely that you just do not feel “in love” with them. You can love a lot of people in very different ways but somehow staying in love with your significant other presents a challenge after the first year or two.  Two people in a relationship get to know each other and familiarity breeds discontent.

 

She knows things about you that no one else knows and you know that she does not always have a sparkling personality.  Many couples find that while the love is still there, the romantic feelings are missing.
How do you stay in love?  It is a lot easier than you may think.  Staying in love starts with knowing what you already love about your partner.

Core Love Values

1    Do the two of you share values like family, work and goal setting?
2    Do both of you want to communicate but finding the time is a problem?
3    Do you still respect each other in words and actions?

 

These questions deal with the basics of being in love.  It is important to have these in place before you start to rekindle your romance.
The next step is to ask yourself if you have been playing the “blame game”.   Have you been failing to take responsibility in your relationship for the lack of romance?  For example, your significant other may have a brutal work schedule and you have become resentful.  You stew on another evening alone instead of thinking of how they feel about the situation.

Mature Approaches to Relationships

•    Anticipate times when your schedules will cause conflict
•    Communicate regularly about upcoming events that are important to you
•    Schedule time for each other
•    Be considerate and kind

 

If you cannot extend these common courtesies to your partner, how do you expect to stay in love?  Keeping that “in love” feeling alive does not take lots of money or even lots of time. Think about it; you already know what makes your partner happy and you probably also know just how to drive them crazy.  It is your choice.


By choosing to refrain from pushing their buttons just because you can, you now have the opportunity to choose to show them you are in love with them. Before we continue I invite you to get a hold of  my new relationship advice book,  Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love.  It’s on sale for about 50% off (only $11.00 at Amazon) and after you purchase the book pick up many many wonderful FREE bonus gifts at Lovein90Days.  In it you’ll find the eight habits of living love that long-term passionate couples have in common. It’s all based on the latest couples’ research, my clinical work and my over 25 years of living love with my husband.

Show Your Love

•    Express your interest in what your partner is interested in
•    Take on more than your share of the household chores when they are overloaded at work
•    Hang up the phone when they get home, show them you are excited to see them
•    Tuck a sweet note in their pocket before work
•    Plan to do something together that you know they like even if it really is not your “thing”
•    Back off…give your love interest a chance to unwind when they get home
•    Get physical.  Take a walk together or ride bikes because the endorphins are good for both of you
•    Give loving touch.  This may not lead to other things but your partner wants you to want them

 

It is always easier to start out a relationship by showing your love and making time for each other, you can start at any time.  It may not feel comfortable and if things have gotten out of hand your partner may not respond immediately.

 

For so many couples, the first couple of years can be the roughest.  By staying committed to your partner and really thinking about their needs and wants you can weather these tough years.  On another interesting note, this is true of many cultures such as in East Indian dating.  Maya, who met her husband through an Indian dating personals service, advises that “loving your partner they way they want to be loved opens the door for you to be loved the way you want to be loved in your relationship.”  As Dr. Diana says, keep giving love in as many ways as you can and find yourselves falling in love all over again!

 

Diana Kirschner, Ph.D. is a frequent guest psychologist on The Today Show & author of the highly acclaimed new book, “Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love” as well as the best-selling author of “Love in 90 Days.” Dr. Diana’s revolutionary work is the basis of her PBS Special on love. Connect with Dr. Diana through her FREE Dating and Relationship Advice Newsletter.

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